I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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