I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
