1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
