hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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