It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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