Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
