He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
