Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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