but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
