i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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