Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The Olympian is in my bed
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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