FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I would fuck him just for his dog
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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