JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
