For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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