Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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