He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She bit a glass in half.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
