In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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