well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
