I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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