So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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