Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
