I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
