If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
