ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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