new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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