Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
