And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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