Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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