my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
