Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
