the condom got lost in my hair
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm always down for nudity.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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