The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
