only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
this hospital has no fireball
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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