So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
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Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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