my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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