i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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