One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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