well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
