lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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