i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
