My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
