are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
