even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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