u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
