you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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