are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
