3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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