Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
