So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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