I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
