Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
