hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
3 2 1 whiskey
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
