Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
