I got her a Nickelback box set.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
