She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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