I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
