I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
