The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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