I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
