Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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