Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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