Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
