Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
