dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
