No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
