Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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