The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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