We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
