You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
