i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
