You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He did a backflip because drugs
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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