i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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