He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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